


Those Things You Cannot Say

by MsThunderFrost



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Coitus Interruptus, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Kink, Dom Steve Harrington, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Interrupted scene, M/M, Men Crying, Misunderstandings, Punishment, Spanking, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Sub Billy Hargrove, Subdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24268342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsThunderFrost/pseuds/MsThunderFrost
Summary: “Should just get rid of me. ‘m not worth the effort－,” whatever else he’d been about to say is cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. Steve frowns, feeling Billy go tense in his arms.“Ignore it,” that’s what he intends to do－even if a little voice in the back of his head tells him that people don’t normally call after midnight just to shoot the breeze. “You’re more important to me.”“But－,”Steve shakes his head, “No buts, pretty boy. It’s gonna take someone dying to pry me out of this bed with you, alright?” Billy is still hard and leaking against his belly, with the occasional tear streaking down his reddened, swollen face. Steve peppers his messy face with kisses, feels Billy finally start to relax－The call transitions over to the answering machine. Dustin’s voice comes over the speakers. Fuck.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 1
Kudos: 207
Collections: GoodShit





	Those Things You Cannot Say

“Shh… That’s it, baby. You did so well for me…” 

Billy’s face is a mess of tears and snot, hidden away in the crook of Steve’s neck as the last few wet, gasping sobs wrack his body. Steve settles the younger teen on his lap, careful to keep the pressure off of his aching bottom, and murmurs soft, sweet words into Billy’s ear as he tries to calm down.

His chest  _ aches _ , listening to Billy snuffle and cry, listening to him murmur a soft  _ ‘m sorry _ over and over again as he clings to the front of Steve’s t-shirt like a goddamned lifeline.

He doesn’t like having to punish Billy. He knows that it’s necessary－they have rules for a reason, and rules are rather pointless if there isn’t some sort of consequence for breaking them－but… Billy’s mindset is…  _ delicate _ after a punishment. Like he doesn’t quite believe that twenty or thirty spanks, or not being allowed to cum, or listening to why Steve is  _ disappointed _ in his behavior (the ‘d’ word always makes Billy wilt like a flower, and it hurts his heart) will actually make things better. Like he doesn’t believe enduring his punishment will make him worthy of forgiveness, but he  _ hopes _ . 

He’d safe-worded out, the first couple of times they’d tried it, and he’d been real skittish after－but he’d never tried to run. He’d let Steve pet him and kiss him, half-listening to the promise that everything was perfect－that  _ he _ was perfect－despite not being able to take his punishment in full. But no matter how many times Steve assured him it was okay, he always crashed  _ hard _ after a failed punishment (which is why he tried his damndest to avoid the ‘d’ word, or those punishments that deprived Billy of physical and emotional contact (they don’t talk about the time he stopped talking to Billy for two days after he’d called Nancy a bitch)－they were so much harder for him to endure).

So to have Billy actually  _ ask _ for a punishment is rare. He knew that Billy’d earned himself one (though, to be honest, he was prepared to cut his pretty baby some slack－it’d been a rough day, and most of the shit that’d happened hadn’t even been Billy’s fault). But now…

“Shh… that’s it. Breathe for me…  _ in _ … and  _ out _ … You were so brave, did so well for me, my precious boy.” He sticks his nose into Billy’s sweat-damp blond curls, wrapping his arms around Billy’s lithe waist and drawing him in close.

“‘m sorry I－I was bad, Daddy.” Tear-filled blue eyes struggle to focus on his own, “D-Didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Steve nods, “I know you didn’t, baby.” He says, “It’s just a little bruise. It doesn’t even really hurt. See?” He shifts a bit, so that Billy can see the barely-there splotch of red on his shoulder. “Look at that. ‘snot so bad.” 

Billy’s horrifically bad day had culminated in him picking a fight with Steve during basketball practice, checking the other teen’s shoulder, and laying him out flat on the gym floor. It’s not the worst he’s ever done to him, not by far－and honestly, he’d been more shocked than hurt－but still. He keens, “B-But I shouldn’t have－,”

Steve shushes him, gently. “No, you shouldn’t have. But you know that, and you apologized for it, and you took your punishment like a champ. Everything’s okay now,” he promises, voice light.

“Should just get rid of me. ‘m not worth the effort－,” whatever else he’d been about to say is cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. Steve frowns, feeling Billy go tense in his arms. 

“Ignore it,” that’s what he intends to do－even if a little voice in the back of his head tells him that people don’t normally call after midnight just to shoot the breeze. “You’re more important to me.” 

“But－,”

Steve shakes his head, “No buts, pretty boy. It’s gonna take someone dying to pry me out of this bed with you, alright?” Billy is still hard and leaking against his belly, with the occasional tear streaking down his reddened, swollen face. Steve peppers his messy face with kisses, feels Billy finally start to relax－

The call transitions over to the answering machine. Dustin’s voice comes over the speakers.  _ Fuck _ .

The kid’s only said a handful of words before he’s carefully detangling himself from Billy’s arms. His pretty boy is much too pliant, his beautiful, tear-stained face resigned as Steve lays him out on the bed, on his side (his ass-cheeks are practically radioactive in the dim light of his bedroom, and he knows that that could not possibly be comfortable to lay on), like he’d known that it was only a matter of time until all of  _ this _ became too much and Steve just  _ left _ him. He tries to tell him that he’ll be right back, but then he hears something that sounds vaguely like  _ demodog _ and he’s no longer sure. 

He manages to grab the phone just before Dustin hangs up, and the kid wastes no time confirming his fears－he’ll have to leave Billy in the middle of a scene. He doesn’t really have a  _ choice _ －he thinks that, if Billy were in a better state of mind, he’d understand; but as they currently stand, Billy’s crashing  _ hard _ and Steve doesn’t know how to  _ fix _ it without having more  _ time _ and… Billy looks so fucking  _ small _ , fresh tears streaking down his cheeks as he watches Steve hurriedly stuff himself into a semi-clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt (that’s probably Bill’s, considering it fits a bit wide in the shoulders). It damn-near breaks Steve’s heart.

“Can you do something for me, baby?” Billy keens, fluttering tear-stained lashes. “I need you to be Daddy’s good boy and stay right here, okay? Stay right here, and I’ll be back before you can miss me－,”

“Leavin’,” Billy slurs. His eyes are hazy, and while he’s looking right at Steve, the older teen doesn’t think he can actually  _ see _ him. His heart clenches.

“Just for a little bit, Billy-Bear. I wouldn’t… Please know that I wouldn’t leave you here, like this, if it wasn’t an emergency. But the kids－,” a small, wounded noise rises in the back of Billy’s throat, and Steve is quick to placate him, “Max is okay, baby. She’s safe and sound, I  _ promise _ . It’s－,”

And then something inside of Billy seems to  _ snap _ , “J-Just  _ go _ already, wouldya? I－I’m not－,” he sniffles.

Steve wavers for a moment, before tucking a soft, well-loved teddy bear into Billy’s arms. “Hold onto this for me.”

“Wha－? ‘m not some snot-nosed kid. Don’t need a fuckin’ teddy bear.” Billy grumbles, before dragging the bear closer to his face and burying his nose in the soft down of the fur. 

“Be a good boy for Daddy ‘n hold onto that, yeah? And I’ll be back real soon.” 

He races out the door, as fast as his feet will take him, and tries to ignore the way his entire body wants to sag when Billy whispers a broken, “Yeah… right.” 

* * *

“C’mon, pretty boy. Open those big, beautiful blue eyes for me… That’s a love. So good for me. Such a good boy.” When Billy comes-to, he’s in the bathtub, tucked safely away between Steve’s strong thighs. 

“D-Daddy?” He croaks, his voice positively  _ wrecked _ from nearly an hour’s worth of crying. “Y-You came back.”

The honest surprise in Billy’s tone damn near broke Steve’s heart. “Of course I came back, baby. I never even wanted to leave, but－,” he kisses Billy’s messy mop of dirty blond curls, thankful that the younger teen has his back to him and cannot see the tears streaking down his face. “I’ll always come back to you.  _ Always _ .”

Billy sniffles, lowering his gaze to the lukewarm bathwater. “I would’ve…” he realizes, belatedly, that Steve is washing him, using the bottle of soap that Billy likes so much, “If you hadn’t, I would’ve understood. Really, it’s only a matter of time until you－,” Billy cuts himself off abruptly.

Steve frowns, “Until I  _ what _ ?”

“U-Until you realize exactly how much of a piece of  _ shit _ I am and leave me for good.”

Steve abandons his washcloth, quickly wrapping his arms around Billy’s body and dragging the younger teen back until their bodies were pressed against one another so tightly, it was impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. Billy struggles for a brief moment, but eventually settles with a broken whine. When Steve takes hold of his chin and tilts his head up and back, he refuses to meet the other’s eyes－though Steve’s heart breaks all the more when he sees Billy’s beautiful blue eyes, swollen and red and aching from crying all alone. He plants a gentle kiss just under each of Billy’s eyes, licking softly at his tears－

Emotion-driven conversations usually freak Billy out, but this deep into his headspace, he thinks he can tolerate just a bit, “Pretty boy－ _ Billy _ －you are worth  _ all _ of the love and care and affection I can give you, and so much more. And I’m not going to leave you just because you have a bad day－,”

“I  _ hurt _ you－,”

“You were upset, and hurting, and you lashed out. Just a few months ago, that meant you would’ve tried to rearrange my face.” Billy cringes, a fresh round of tears falling as he’s reminded of the incident at the Byer’s. “ _ This _ was tame by comparison, and I only fell because I didn’t plant my feet.”

The blond sniffles, “I still shouldn’t have－,”

“And you apologized for it, and were punished accordingly. And now it’s over. I’m not going to keep lording it over your head, Billy-Bear. It’s over and done with, and now we move on.”

“So you mean… that wasn’t…?”

When that seems to be all that Billy’s willing to offer him, it takes his brain a moment to put the pieces together. And then he realizes, with a horrible sinking in his gut, that Billy’d thought that Steve leaving in the middle of their scene was a continuation of his punishment. That the spanking somehow hadn’t been enough, and he needed to do more to atone. And Steve is horrified, because it  _ makes so much sense _ and  _ how did he not see it _ ?

When Neil would hit him, punishing him for whatever little made-up infraction suited his fancy at that particular moment, the ‘punishment’ would always be two-fold. There was the physical act, of course, but then there was the aftermath, where he was left alone to ruminate on every little thing that had happened, to cry and lick his wounds and try his damndest to put himself back together all on his own. And even if the specific circumstances weren’t exactly the same, of course Billy would think that being abandoned directly after a punishment meant he’d somehow failed, and－

Fuck, they were  _ definitely _ going to have a long talk about all of this, when they were both in the proper headspace for it. Because if something like this ever happens again (and god, he fucking hopes that it doesn’t), he needs Billy to know how much he means to him. Needs him to know that he’d never take the precious sight, laid out before him in the tub, for granted. Because he appreciated just how hard it was for Billy to be here, with him, like this.

“No, baby, no. This wasn’t a continuation of the punishment, or anything like that. This was a freak accident that I hope to god will never happen again.” He says, “Fuck, I would never do that to you. Would never throw something at you we hadn’t negotiated beforehand. That’s just…  _ no _ .”

Billy stares at him a moment, considering. Then, “Okay.”

“Okay?” He arches a brow, not quite daring to believe.

“Hmm,” he rests his cheek on Steve’s chest, lets his lover clean it off with the washcloth, “‘s getting cold, Daddy.”

“Jus’ hold on a sec, baby. Let me rinse you off.” He finishes cleaning Billy up, before helping him out of the tub and patting him dry with a soft, fluffy white towel. “Let’s get you into bed, yeah? I bet you’re tired.”

Billy tries to deny it, but Steve has to all-but carry him into his room. He rubs some salve onto Billy’s cheeks, before helping him into a pair of light blue sweatpants and tucking him into the bed. Much to his delight, Billy goes straight for the teddy bear, tucking it under one leanly muscled arm; he tosses the other arm over Steve’s hips, like he’s not quite convinced Steve won’t try and up and vanish on him again in the middle of the night. 

“Love you, pretty boy. Forever and always.” Billy hums, content, and drifts off without saying it back. But that’s okay.

The fact that he stayed, fearful though he was that Steve wasn’t actually going to come back, said everything that he himself could not. 


End file.
